I told her that I would love to have a house in the suburbs and as far as retirement goes what would I do with all that free time. I’d rather spend my time seeing clients and doing things I enjoy and that furthermore I hope to see clients for as long as I possibly can. I asked her if there was any area of her life that she would like better. To that she replied, ‘every area of my life is awesome, wonderful.’ First of all when I hear that I assume the other person is lying. I mean they may be telling the truth but most of the time not. I can think of at least one area of my life or at the very least an aspect of my experience that I would love to improve. For example sometimes walking to the mailbox is kind of boring. I would love to spice that up a bit.
That notwithstanding she could have been telling the truth and I would have believed her if it weren’t for the fact that she was so incongruent when she responded to the question that I asked. When she replied to me I noticed immediately a cracking in her voice where there wasn’t one before. Out of my peripheral I noticed her body began to shift and wobble in the same way people do when they aren’t really certain about what they are saying. From there she stopped looking at me directly whereas a second ago she was. To me something was not right about our interaction. I prodded her more about what she does and how it makes her feel. Her answers were, ‘I feel wonderful. Amazing.’ She said the organization that she was working for taught her the power of her thoughts and how they control her reality. And to that I asked her, ‘What specifically have they taught you? What do you know how to do now that you didn’t before?’
Her response to me was more about how wonderful her life was and how amazing she felt. But her words didn’t match what her non-verbals were saying. She was talking about feeling amazing when clearly she was in distress. It was very sad to see someone so incongruent about how they were feeling. I actually felt really bad for her. To me it’s heart breaking to see people that their only crime is wanting to improve their lives but they get sucked in by the brainwashers that work in the field of self help. They tell people about all the types of beliefs that they should have about themselves. They give them all kinds of clichés and slogans to rattle off. They convince them to reject how they currently feel in reality and to replace it with nonsense about how they should feel. Heart breaking.
What’s even worse though is that deep down these people have to know what they are doing isn’t working. Yet they persist ever vigilant. I ask myself, ‘Are these people incredibly resilient and have amazing perseverance or are they just plain stupid?’ I’m going to have to reflect on this question more before I make up my mind. No matter what you do if deep down you know it’s not creating for you the results you want let alone deserve. There is no shame in telling yourself that the emperor has no clothes.